Do They Know You Love Them?

Howdy everyone! I hope you had a wonderful and adventurous weekend!

We survived our weekend, which was filled with long travels, frustration and tears...and mom and dad aren't doin so hot either! Without diving into too much personal detail, I feel it's enough to say that we have felt a flood of emotions this weekend. There are certain inevitibilities that we have had to come to accept (it has nothing to do with Landon, by the way, he is doing great) and it has been a definite struggle for us. Which leads to today's topic.

Just over two years ago, an uncle of mine passed away. All my grandparents died either before I was born or while I was really young, so this was really my first exposure to mortality. During his funeral, something was said that really made me think about life. The heavy weight of mortality sank in as I considered how often I wasted time being frustrated because I was trying to get in the last word, or I was fighting to be right with any number of people in my life.

I especially considered this with my husband and the occasions he left for work frustrated because of a confrontation we had. I truly don't believe that there is an innocent side to any confrontation, but what if he left the house that day and got into a car accident and the last thing he felt was irritation with me? What if I missed a chance to tell him I loved him and I never saw him in this life again? Was the fight worth it? Was it worth a small victory, when in the end I would loose one of the most important people in my life?

What about my kids? What if I chose not to kiss them good night and something happened? Perhaps these are horrific things to consider, however, I would dare say that there are plenty of widowed mothers and fathers out there that would give anything to be able to say those last words, as well as parents who suffer the pain every day because they didn't take the time to kiss their child goodbye. A prime example of this is Mrs. Dugard when she didn't see her child again for 18 years.  

What I realized was that I was taking my family and the opportunity that I had to love them for granted, and this weekend was a manifest to that, which is the cause of this heavy topic today.

All I ask is that whoever reads this really takes a look at their loved ones, and take the time to show them you love them. They may or may not be here tomorrow, and in the event that they are not, do they truly  know how you feel? 

As for me, I want to dedicate this post to a very special woman in my life. I want to let her know just how much I appreciate her and everything she has done on our behalf. She has been such a blessing in my life, as she has given me an opportunity to have a grandmother...something that I've never had. I am grateful for the time and opportunity I have had to be able to love her.

We love you, Ri, so much. Thank you for all our memories and for being such an inspiration to us! You are always in our hearts and in our prayers!

T.G.I.F!!!

This week has been tough for the whole family. Landon is doing great with treatments, but we're starting to see the treatments work. He's making progress in his efforts, but he's often tired, and quite a bit more irritable and frustrated. This is completely normal, and is a sign that his brain is exercising, similar to being sore the day after a good workout.

Kaden is especially having a hard time with all this activity. I don't think it's necessarily that he feels Landon is getting all the attention, I think being out of his schedule is really messing with him. He has a hard time when Landon is taken to the back, especially if we need to go to the car for a diaper change. It seems he's always afraid we're going to leave Landon behind and it puts him in an inconsolable fit.

Myla decided to grow up this week as well. We toyed with the idea of putting her in a toddler bed earlier, and before I knew it, she was sleeping like a big girl! Then, when she decided she didn't  need a sippy cup any more yesterday, my heart broke a little. I know that girl is destined for great things, I just wish I could keep her small a little bit longer.

As for me and Jim...we have definitely looked better. I think the word "frazzled" would be a good description. Constantly feeling like we're forgetting something is a feeling we're becoming used to. I suppose it's just good that we've managed to keep track of all three kids so far. (I only have three, right?)

I think this Saturday we'll just take it easy. We'll go to the park and feed the ducks and let the kids take a breather. Just one more week and we can resume a fairly normal schedule at home! (Landon will do another 18 days of treatment at home).

My Quest

When I was young (I am still young, mind you) my dad was my hero. There wasn't anything that he didn't know or couldn't fix.  I used to walk hand in hand with him every Sunday evening; we would sing songs and he would tell me great stories like the "Wide Mouthed Frog," complete with vocal exaggeration and facial animation. I used to carry a bag on these walks of ours, the inscription on front read, "Interesting Things," which I would fill with knack-knacks and doo-dads that fascinated my seven-year-old mind. He was never so busy that I couldn't talk to him, and when I did, I knew I had his full attention. He picked me up when I was down, often times I left his shoulder soaked with tears. There wasn't anything that he didn't understand and couldn't help me understand. There still isn't.

I grew up along side my brother. We fought, as all siblings do, but I always knew he cared about me. He used to take me everywhere with him. Granted, this was before he could drive...so he would fold up a towel and position it on the cross bar of his bike (not the handlebars) and have me straddle it with my legs propped up so they didn't get in the way of his pedaling (yes, this was definitely not the most comfortable position in the world). We would ride around for hours like this. I don't even remember where we went. I just remember feeling completely safe with him (though, perhaps in this situation I probably should not have...) He was my big, tough brother, and despite our differences, I knew he would never let anything happen to me.

When I got older, I finally got the opportunity to get to know my oldest brother (something that is hard to do from 800 miles away, especially with a little sister who had the attention span of a sparrow). He is literally my twin; the fact that he is the oldest and I am the youngest has nothing to do with the matter. No one else gets me the way he does. He was my positive reinforcement growing up, always loving me for just exactly who I was, no more no less. He probably doesn't know how much it still means to me when he tells me he loves me and he is proud of me.

I remember the day my sister fell in love. At first I wasn't really thrilled that my soon-to-be brother in law was taking my sister away from me...but it wasn't long before I came around. It was hard to ignore that he adored my sister. He loved the quirky things that made her who she was (there are many of these things, and she won't deny any of them, which is one of the things I love about her). He treated me like his little sister, razzing me and giving me a hard time, but at the same time he took care to let me know that there was always a place for me in their home.  I remember the way his face would light up when he made my sister laugh, which would make him laugh harder. I have a deep respect for him and their marriage. They probably have no idea how closely I watched them, or how much I would model my own marriage after theirs.

Between these four men in my life, I had a check list of what I wanted in a husband: I wanted someone like my dad who would put me back together when I fell apart, who would always take the time to create memories with me. I wanted someone like my brother who always made me feel safe, and like my other brother who was never shy about letting me know he loved me and how proud he was of me. I wanted someone like my brother in law who would adore me, who would do anything to hear me laugh. More than anything else, I wanted someone who would do all of this not only for me, but for our children.

It was no easy task finding someone who fit the bill, but then I met Jim.

I don't get sappy about our relationship very often. It's not because I don't believe that Jim is my knight in shining armor...I just sort of have a reverence about him and our relationship, and for that reason I don't feel the need to publicize it very often. Today, however, I want to.

I remember the day I met Jim  at work, which is a story I'll dive into more detail at a later time. I had dated all types of guys up till then, but he was different. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get him out of my head. So I nurtured a close friendship with him. We used to live across the parking lot from each other, and I remember passively looking out the window to see if his car was in it's spot, always kicking myself later for even caring. I remember one time his car hadn't come home all night (as though he wasn't in it..haha!) and it was 2 o'clock in the morning. Panic ran through me as I tried to sleep that night, so much that I tossed and turned all night. I hated that I cared, but no matter how much I tried not to, I cared that much more. His car did come home at some point, by the way, and I can only assume it brought him with it.

I remember the day I realized he cared for me the same way. It happened so naturally that it barely seems like it happened at all. It was the usual phone call, "Hey, do you want to grab some Chinese Food with me?" That was the first night he took my hand in his. I remember because mine fit so perfectly in his. I realized he was everything I ever wanted, he was a little piece of all of the men in my life. We've been inseparable since. Six years of marriage and three kids later, the rest is history.

I won't say that marriage has been all peaches and roses. In fact, sometimes I wouldn't even give it the credit of lemons and dandelions. We've both come a long way in these 6 years, but one thing has always stayed the same. At the end of the day, and no matter how irritated we get with one another, I remember that his hand is the only one that mine fits perfectly in.

P.S. Leave Comments! How did you know that your significant other was "the one?"

Brazilian Lemonade

Picture Courtesy of
"Our Best Bites"

I don't normally blog about recipes. I mean, there are about a thousand and a half recipe blogs out there, and I won't ever pretend to be one. However, there is a recipe that I HAVE to share, because it is insanely good. Brazilian Lemonade (though I would call it a Brazilian Limeade seeing as there is not an ounce of lemon in it).

I got the recipe off of the "Our Best Bites" blog. If you want to check out their specific how-to's, click here.

Otherwise, go now! Don't wait till tonight! Call in sick if you must! You'll thank me later!






Brazilian Lemonade

4 juicy limes (try and find ones with thin, smooth skins; they’re the juiciest and the thin skin cuts down on the chance of your drink being bitter)
1 c. sugar
6 c. cold water
6 Tbsp. sweetened condensed milk

Mix cold water and sugar very well and chill until ready to use. This step can be done ahead of time.

Wash limes thoroughly with soap (I just use hand-dishwashing soap or regular hand soap); you need the soap to get the wax and pesticides off of the limes because you’re using the WHOLE lime, baby. Cut the ends off the limes and then cut each lime into 8ths.

Place 1/2 of the limes in your blender.

Add 1/2 of the sugar water, place the lid on your blender, and pulse 5 times. Place a fine-mesh strainer over a pitcher (the one you’ll serve the lemonade in) and pour the blended mixture through the strainer and into the pitcher. Use a spoon to press the rest of the liquid into the pitcher. Dump the pulp and stuff in the strainer into the trash. Repeat with remaining limes and sugar water. Add sweetened condensed milk; DO NOT leave this step out unless you will die of a horrible sweetened condensed milk allergy because this is the secret ingredient! You may want to taste test it at this point; I used giant, thick-skinned limes tonight and didn’t test it and it came out a little bitter. If it’s bitter, just add some more sugar and maybe a little more milk.

Serve immediately over lots of ice. This does not keep well, so don’t make this in advance (although you can cut the limes, mix the sugar water, and measure the sweetened condensed milk in advance). Serves 4, although I can pretty much guarantee you that people will want more; I usually plan on 1 1/2 servings at LEAST per person.

Just How Hot is it in Arizona?

When we hear from friends and family, the first question is always, "How's the family?" And before I even have a chance to answer, the next question is, "So...just how hot is it out there?"  During the summer months, so far we have seen a high of 116, I think. It may have actually been hotter, but after a while, numbers become irrelevant. Let me illustrate for you.

Let's take a trip down imaginary lane for a moment. Let's imagine that you're on vacation. You spent the extra money and went somewhere tropical and extremely exclusive. Palm trees sway in the breeze, and your room even has an ocean view. The sky is a perfect, cloudless blue, and the turquoise ocean is calling your name, beckoning you to come and take a swim. This is what you have been waiting for since you booked your trip!

You slip into your bathing suit, grab some sunscreen, throw on your sandals, and your legs run out the door faster than your body can catch up.

The intoxicating smell of tropical vegetation, salt water, and sunscreen fills your head. All your stresses, one by one, wash away with the crash of every tide. You find a prime spectator position on the beach, toss your towel and bag of sun and swim supplies down, and then you do the unthinkable: You take off your sandals.

The second your foot touches the hot sand, a burning sensation radiates up your foot, through your leg, and you find yourself in, what I like to call, a thermal fit (the crazy, though highly entertaining dance one does when one walks in hot sand).

That feeling of unforgiving hot sand under your feet and between your toes? The one that doesn't go away for several seconds after you sit on your towel? That is what the Arizona heat feels like... all. over. your. body. Like I said, after a while, numbers become irrelevant. Summers here are killer. Otherwise, Arizona is great!

On a side note: I know you are probably wondering how Landon did yesterday. He did really well. The ladies who work there just adore him (no surprise, he's such a little stud!) It will take some time to see how he responds but so far the stimulation seems to excite him. He seemed a little more energetic and involved last night than normal. His responses seemed to be more on cue as well (it usually takes him a while to internalize our requests before he gives an answer or performs a task).  I have started a daily log of his progress, and I look forward to sharing it with all of you after these 30 days are up. I will share another progress log at 90 days. Thanks for all your love and support! Love you all!

Today is the Big Day!

Today is Landon's first day of treatment. He is going to have two 30-minute sessions , one at 1p.m. and then again at 2:30 p.m.

We are anxious to see how this helps him learn how to communicate with us! It's been a struggle for so long, trying to meet his needs when we don't know what bothers him or why. He is such an incredible and loving little boy, and I am so excited to see him flourish!

Wish us luck!

Freight Trained

I felt compelled to write this post because of the downright, no good, patience-tapping week that I've had.

Case in point: Wednesday, while I was in the shower, mischievous little Myla Bean got her hands on some butter and SMEARED it into the couch. I took a deep breath, grabbed the steam cleaner, cleaned up the greasy mess and went on to make lunch for the kids. Within 20 minutes all three kids had struck simultaneously. When I came back into the room, Myla had grabbed her brother's PB&J from the table and mashed it into the couch, right where I just cleaned. At the same time, the boys had torn apart the front room and the kitchen, spilling the milk, spreading jam on the table, and leaving the last of the Apple Jacks all over the floor.  In that same moment, the vacuum wouldn't work, and the water heater decided it needed some personal time off. All three my kids almost all went up for adoption that second, and it was only noon.


Believe it or not, the whole week shot straight downhill from there, leaving my head spinning on it's only slightly attached axis. Despite my best efforts to keep everything together, it all fell apart anyway, and by Friday morning I was in tears and feeling about this big... give or take an inch.  


But then something happened. Friday afternoon, I did something good for myself. I made myself a protein shake, turned up some music and danced around the house like a moron. To complete the picture, I belted out off-key notes, serenading my children with my lack of talent. They thought it was great and it was just what I needed to unwind, re coop, and pull myself back together. Do you know what I realized? No matter what, I wasn't going to let anything stop me, not even butter on the couch. Nothing is going to claim me, because it's never as bad as it seems.


I reflected on the past week, and all those who had approached me about one thing or another, and I realized they or the people they were venting about probably had just as rough a week as I had. I was forced to recognize that I did the very best I could this week, and considering the obstacles I had, I made it through relatively unscathed, which was pretty impressive if I do say so myself.


One of my favorite quotes came from a dear friend of mine, Wendy. I'm bolding it so that it sticks in your memory like it sticks in mine.

"No matter how bad you think the day is--if you are looking down at the grass and not up at the roots, everything else is okay." ~A.U.

So, if you had a bad week as well, guess what? Today is Saturday. Do something good for yourself! You deserve it! Make that protein shake, turn up the music that makes you say, "You know what? Forget this week! It's done, and next week promises to be just as exciting! Bring it on!" And join me in dancing like the village idiot, because what else have we got to loose? Next  week is going come whether we like it or not, and chances are it's bringing a U-Haul of baggage.

"We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance." ~Japanese Proverb